the day my daughter was born...reprise

memorial day, may 25,1992,1:25 p.m. 8 pounds 13 ounces...my daughter, alexandria marie antonelle came into this world,with not a breath, no heart beat and an apgar score of 0,this was the single most tragic and miraculous day of my life to date...my water broke in the middle of the night but i wasn't dialating at all and after several hours the doctor gave me choice to either have a c-section or pitocin to bring on my labor...i had a previous c-section with my son t.j. and i would have opted for another c-section ,but all the nurses and the doctor advised me to go with the pitocin...(no one told me that there was a high risk of a uteran rupture when given pitocin after a section) they started the pitocin drip and my labor came on fast and furious...all was progressing well and i was given an epidural...i felt like i had to push, thomas went to get the camera,but when the doctor checked my cervix, i was bleeding heavlily and i was going into shock...they rushed me into the delivery room and without me even knowing(i literally had no idea) the doctor in 4 minutes time cut me open (without even washing his hands)and took my little lifeless daughter from me...
"you have a baby girl, what would you like to name her and do you want her baptized" was what the nurse asked me minutes after i was rushed into the delivery room.i looked at her in shock and out of the corner of my eye i saw doctors and nurses working on my little girl...they called a code blue and pushed a screaming thomas out of the room. by this time i was loosing massive amounts of blood, and the doctor operated on me for several hours at the same time my daughter was attached to a respirator fighting for her life...
i wasn't allowed to see her for several days,because i was too critically ill and so was my baby,the nurses would take polaroid pictures of her with tubes down her throat and a teeny tiny iv in her foot...the doctors said she wouldn't make it and they told thomas that he would be a widower,there was not much hope for either of us, but by the grace of God alexandria marie antonelle pulled the respitaor out of her throat, and started to breath on her own... two weeks later we where home and getting stronger everyday!
my daughter is the essence of strength and perserverence, and from her first day on earth was a fighter...and she hasn't stopped yet! she is a fantastic student, always making honor role,and the most wonderful daughter in the world,she will make a great mother someday, she has quite the maternal instinct, and has the most infectious laugh on earth...she has a smile that lights of the world,in fact when she was a baby she would wake up in her crib, rubbing her little nose on the mattres,and than lift her head and smile so bright...to this day it is the single most beautiful memory i have...i cry when i think of her, and even though she was born in may, she truly came in like a lion!!!...allie girl i love and adore you!!!